Jodi Speaks Her Mind

Back in Vlad - Getting A Sophie Fix 10/31/2007

We arrived in Vlad yesterday after many hours in airports and on airplanes. Nothing really to complain about, though. All the flights were reasonably comfortable and I think all of us slept some on the long flight from L.A. to Seoul. Adelina did really well over all, though she was definitely showing some signs of cabin fever. Upon our arrival at the Vlad airport, we made it okay through passport control, immigration control, and customs. We even managed to find all 8 of our bags! Then a driver met us and drove us to our hotel, the Vlad Motor Inn, which caters to westerners in general and adoptive parents in particular.

Basically, the hotel we are staying at is not at all “Russian”. It is very western in style and even down to the food they serve at the restaurant and the types of bathtubs and toilets. But it really is perfect for our needs for this trip. The suite we are in has a small kitchen, a decent bathroom, and 3 rooms - one bedroom, one crib room, and a living room, which also has another double bed. There is plenty of room for all 4 of us, and I don’t think adding Sophie will be a burden either. The kitchen will allow us to cook some of our meals, which will save us money in dining costs. And we need to save every dime we can. This adoption is costing us quite a bit more than anticipated.

Thankfully, the hotel has a small playground in the back, and 45 minutes of strenuous outside play was just what Adelina needed after all that time cooped up. She played while Nancy rested and I worked on unpacking, though Steve unpacked quite a bit, too. When Adelina and Steve returned from her outside play-time, we went and ate dinner at the hotel restaurant. The food was quite good, though a bit pricey. Nancy and I both ordered the borscht, and it was really scrumptious. I made a mental note to add chives to the recipe I use. It seems to add a pleasant flavor and is a nice finishing touch sprinkled on top with the smetana (sour cream). While still eating dinner, Adelina started to feel the jet lag pretty seriously and was begging to go to bed. It was 6:00 or 6:30 by this point. Anyone who knows Adelina knows she doesn’t ever ASK to go to bed, so this was quite extraordinary. Thankfully, we didn’t have any reason not to go to bed early, and by 8:00 pm lights were out and all of us had crashed - Adelina well before anybody else. I woke up a few times throughout the night, but didn’t really wake up in earnest until about 6:30. Others slept well, too, and we all felt refreshed and ready to go meet Sophie! We ate instant oatmeal for breakfast and met our driver and interpreter and we were off to Ussuriysk.

We made good time and when we arrived, Sophie’s groupa was enjoying a “concert”, which means a little program or show for their enjoyment and participation. I think this one was prepared by the music teacher and maybe some other teachers or caregivers. The theme was fall, and it was really cute. It was fairly short, which was smart because the children were all around the age of 2. Sophie of course was among them, but our role for the present was as audience members. Sophie saw us and there was definitely some degree of recognition. She didn’t beam, but there was a gentle smile. The children had all been dressed very nicely and the girls had their hair done pretty. Sophie’s was braided cross-wise along the top with a white ribbon braided in. And she was dressed in a lovely light blue velvet dress with a big white bow in the back. She was too cute!! I had to really restrain myself to keep from going over to her and scooping her up in my arms right then and there, but I was able to hold back for the sake of decorum and respect for the caregivers and the preparations that had gone into the program. There were also several women there to watch and they were dressed rather nicely. I’m not sure who they were, but it was truly a lovely little event.

Once it was over, the groupa returned to their room, but Sophie got to remain in the multipurpose room with us. She was a bit timid and not sure what to make of being left behind until finally a caregiver walked over to her, took her hand, and walked her straight over to us. After that, she seemed more comfortable with us and allowed us to introduce some toys and the fun began. Adelina was very anxious to interact with her, but we tried to encourage her to hold back and give Mommy and Daddy a chance first. After awhile, though, she got close enough and Sophie began to warm to her. Eventually, they played together very well and both were having a good time. They mostly were playing with a small ball, which Sophie loved to throw somewhere in the room and Adelina would chase it. Sound familiar - yes, it is much like a common game of “fetch” with Adelina being in the role of “fetcher”. This is her favorite game and Sophie seemed to love it too. They also played in the little puppet theater setup in the corner. They really took to each other, almost too well. While they played, we were meeting with the social worker, who was doing her part to prepare us for court. She reviewed all the information she had about the family and the history and shared with us the types of questions we should expect. It was really quite helpful and she seemed very favorable towards our adoption of Sophie.

When the social worker was finished with us, she then met with the other family that has court this week. They are actually with the same agency we are with and they are adopting a little girl just barely older than our Sophie. So now that our meeting was finished, we were ready to give our attention back to Sophie. This proved tricky than it sounds because she and Adelina were seriously engaged in fun. I explained to Adelina that we wanted to play with Sophie, too, but she got rather upset and didn’t want to share with us. Overall, a good sign, but for now it is really important for Sophie to learn the importance of Mommy and Daddy. So challenging sibling moment number one took place, and Adelina ended up in tears. Sophie seemed okay about that (I’m sure she is used to seeing other kids cry all the time), but also looked a little confused. Gradually, we were able to engage her in play and we even tried to invite Adelina back into the play, but she refused. I think she was pretty confused by her own feelings and wasn’t even sure why she was crying, and I’m not entirely sure either. In any case, we did our best to console her, and it was quickly time to say goodbye to Sophie. We walked her back to her groupa room, and for the first time she had a look of sadness when it dawned on her that we were about to leave. As sad as that was, it was also encouraging because it means the very beginnings of bonding are taking place. We packed up our things and left the baby house.

On our way out of town, we had several stops to make. First was the pharmacy to purchase more blue shoe protectors for tomorrow’s visit to the baby house. Next was the grocery store to buy some necessities for the next several days. Then we went to a bank to exchange money (for the groceries the other family loaned us an amount of rubles to get us by until we could exchange dollars). Finally, we stopped for lunch at one of the Minutka cafes that are located en route between Vlad and Ussuriysk. Lunch was yummy and we all ate our fill. Adelina was doing much better by this point and she devoured some shashlik (sp? i.e. pork kabobs) and french fries and nibbled some greek salad (Russian style) and croutons. I ordered a greek salad and borscht (yes, I’m very predictable - what can I say, I love the stuff!) Steve ordered a Russian salad with meat, eggs, and walnuts (among other things) and Nancy had a salad and some soup (didn’t catch what kind). One of the things we love about the minutka cafes is that you can order a lot of food and it isn’t too expensive. We also paid for our interpreter’s lunch and with everyone eating til they were full and with sides and such (bread, tea, soda, etc.) the bill still came to just $27. Then we continued our ride back to the hotel. Which is where we are now, waiting for our meeting with Tanya, who will go over what to expect at court and will prepare us for what to say and what not to say and details like that. We are all starting to feel a bit tired again, so I expect we’ll turn in early if that’s an option. By the way, our court is scheduled for Thursday at 4:00 pm, which is the same as 11:00 pm Wednesday night in Arizona (if you’re in another time zone, you can figure it out from that). This is mainly for those of you who wish to pray for us before or during that time. Chances are, by the time you all wake up on Thursday morning in the states, we will be done with court and can update on the outcome. Our biggest hope and prayer is that the judge will waive the ten-day waiting period. We will do our best to make a solid case for her to do this.

Sophie or Anna? - here on the blog I have been referring to our soon-to-be daughter as Sophie because that is the name we plan to call her, but here in Vlad everyone still refers to her as Anna (or affectionately as Anya or Annichka) because, well, that is her name. We knew this and even thought to prepare Adelina that she is going to be called Anna by the people we meet and talk to because that is still her name until (and assuming) the judge decides we can adopt her and her name is allowed to be changed. Adelina, however, does not like to call her Anna, so half the time she is Anna and half the time she is Sophie. I’m mostly saying this just in case I am somewhat inconsistent here on the blog.

More next time, which will probably be post-court!