Jodi Speaks Her Mind

 

Final Day in Vlad and trip Home – Sept. 7 9/13/2007

Filed under: , — jodi @ 4:06 pm

Friday was a wonderful day if not a bit long. It started out rather stressful in that our registration papers had still not been submitted from the hotel. These are papers that are required for us to demonstrate our presence here. We were checking out of the hotel at 8 am and the registration papers were brought in by a woman at 8:05. Talk about cutting it close!

Anyhow, so we checked of the hotel after enjoying our final breakfast there – I’m going to miss that yummy porridge. The weather had taken a turn and it was dark and rainy outside, but this was really kind of a refreshing change not only from the stuffy hotter weather Vlad normally has this time of year, but from the God-awful hot and dry weather from home. A day of rain is just what we needed.

We had our typical drive out to Ussurisk with the weather being the only difference, and our visit with Anna was also nice because we spent the whole time inside with her on a mat on the floor. She was wearing a darling light green outfit and she appeared to have been washed. It was sad to think this was the last time we’d see her for a couple of months, but it was also a sweet visit. We showed her the pictures we’d had made for her and gave her the pink picture purse to keep. We had fun playing with a balloon and some other toys, too. When we were finished we thanked the caregivers and gave them the toys we had brought as well as the one-time use camera we had brought for them to take pictures of her for us over the coming months. They were so kind to us and grateful for the toys, even though we felt they weren’t much. Pictures from this visit are here.

We also said our farewells to the head doctor and she said we are very welcome to bring Adelina with us on our next trip. We were glad for this because we had been told that some orphanages will not permit outside children onto their grounds.

Final farewell to Anna and then we were off and headed back towards Vlad. We stopped and had a lovely lunch at the Minutka Cafe with our driver and translator and then it was on to the airport for our return flights home. We arrived a bit early and there was a big hoopla in the airport as a pair of newlyweds were apparently leaving for a honeymoon. There were masses of people making lots of noise and the happy couple were still in their wedding digs. Eventually we were permitted to go through immigration, check in, and then it was through passport control. Then we waited for our flight. We had been checked all the way through, but discovered our seats were not together on the long flight over the Pacific, so we got those changed. Unfortunately, we were now seated on the inside seats, but at least we were together.

The flights home were largely uneventful. Our first flight left at 5:30 pm and arrived at 6:00 pm (2 hr 30 min. flight). The next flight left at 7:30 pm and arrived at 2:45 pm on the same day (after 11 hours in the air), and our third flight left at 6:05 pm – still Friday – and arrived in Phoenix at 7:30 pm. So 20+ hours in flight and we arrived just 2 hours after we left. Talk about jet lag!

It was nice once we arrived in Los Angeles, as we were able to make phone calls again freely on our cell phone. We connected with some family (our parents) and then spent the next hour trying to arrange for someone to pick us up at the airport in Phoenix when we arrived – it was the one detail we’d failed to plan for in advance. In the end, Kenda came through – thanks Kenda! We came home and crashed hard.

Saturday we picked up Adelina from her host family. She had had a wonderful week, and they had taken great care of her. She really understood what we were doing and where we had gone and did not get upset or anxious at all. We were so grateful! And she was very excited to see all the pictures and videos of little Anna.

Sunday Steve and I started coming down with a cold. We figured out it had come from Anna, who had a bad runny nose the whole time we were visiting. At least it’s all in the family! ;-)

 
 

Day 3: We say YES – Sept. 6 9/8/2007

Filed under: , , — jodi @ 4:24 pm

We got up right at 6 and checked e-mail. There it was… with a time stamp of 5:54 am. Way to go, Dr. S! The e-mail explained the possible change in prognosis, but the Dr. clarified that it is not a serious problem, and if it does become an issue, it is treatable with medication. (We love you Dr. S., but you could have put that in the last e-mail!). But God was in control, and now we breathed huge sighs of relief, as we now felt we could move forward with the solid backing of our Dr. and peace in our hearts that we did our due diligence in preparing ourselves for her medical issues. Actually, in this second e-mail the Dr. offered us some clarifications on her prognosis that on some issues was better than before. We were practically floating by now and we were very excited to feel like now we had a truly solid “YES, we will adopt her.”

Then, as if the good news wasn’t good enough, we had a scheduled phone call with Adelina! We got to hear her voice and tell her how much we loved her and missed her. She has had a great week, but it was just so wonderful to make contact. We were missing her so much!

Our visit this day was a really good one, and we noticed we were both feeling warmer towards Anna and more relaxed. I think we had both feared getting too attached before everything was really decided, and now we were free to think of her as the girl who will become our daughter and not just the girl who might become our daughter. Believe it or not, it’s a huge difference! Pics from this day are here.

After our visit today, we met our facilitator downtown to go to the notary’s office to sign our paperwork stating our decision and signing the medical conclusion – basically our acknowledgment of having received the medical conclusion. After this point, we are not permitted to change our mind based on medical grounds. I had no idea we were expected to sign this, but it makes all the more glad that we explored her medical issues as thoroughly as we did.

Our next stop was a photo place where we got prints made of a selection of our pictures with Anna. We had purchased her a little pink photo album that looks just like a little purse – so cute! It snaps shut just like a purse and is perfect for her. We brought a selection of pictures of us and Adelina and our home and cats and added at the front of the album all the pictures we’d chosen of her and us. Hopefully with repeated viewing we will become familiar faces to her and the transition out of the orphanage won’t be as traumatic.

The remainder of this day was very pleasant. It was our last night in Vlad and though we had planned to maybe go out to dinner with another family, they were unavailable, and in the end we decided we liked the idea of staying in and getting all our stuff in proper order for our departure tomorrow. I called and ordered pizza and salad for delivery… in Russian! Wow, go me. It is one thing to get by face to face, but I wasn’t sure if I could manage over the phone. I actually went up to the reception desk hoping they would help us and she just wrote down the numbers (which I already had) and said, “call one of these. I think they should speak English.” Yeah, right. Oh well, nothing ventured, nothing gained. We got our salad and pizza right at our hotel room door, and it was much cheaper than eating out at a restaurant. The pizza was quite good, too, which was lucky because that is not always the case over there. We worked on communications, and the photo album for Anna as well as a matching one for ourselves (and Adelina). We uploaded some more video and charged all our devices for the last day and trip home. We packed our stuff, and though we had hoped to get to bed early, we did get to bed by 10, so not too bad.

 
 

Day 2: Ups and downs – Sept. 5

Filed under: , , — jodi @ 3:59 pm

We awoke early anxious for a response from Dr. S. It wasn’t there but it came through sometime in the morning while we were getting ready. We had another early morning with Vlad picking us up at 8 am. The Dr wrote that he had been unable to view the video due to technical difficulties, but he felt he could make some conclusions based on pictures, the medical, information provided by the baby house head doctor, and our anecdotal observations. He addressed her various issues point by point, but in the end he said he felt she likely had a good prognosis provided she received good nutrition, a loving family, appropriate therapies, and so on. We were elated and started our day out feeling pretty good about life.

We med Vlad, picked up Elena on the way, and had a pleasant drive out to the Ussurisk baby house followed by a pretty good visit with Anna. Pictures from Day 2 are found here. I think Steve and I both had some anxiety still about it all, but we have the benefit of a previous adoption and remember feeling very anxious and scared when we decided to adopt Adelina. It is just such a huge decision and a major responsibility we are taking on. You can’t help but question it all some. Anna gave us some sweet hugs, though, and we were really warming up to the idea of making her our own.

Anyhow, the day went much like the day before. We stopped at the Vlad Motor Inn to turn over our interpreter and driver to the other WACAP family that is in Vlad at the same time and were provided another driver for our return trip to our hotel. Once back at the hotel, we tried to check e-mail, but something was wrong with the wireless connection or with g-mail, and it was loading too slow. We were starving because we had skipped lunch and we decided to go to an early dinner at an Italian place down by the waterfront. The e-mail can wait.

Our dinner was excellent, though the lasagna was not nearly as good as the creamy salmon and pasta dish that I had. Wow, it was so yummy – we must go back for some more of that. After dinner we walked along the boardwalk area and I took off my sandals so I could walk in the water. I mean it isn’t everyday you get a chance to put your feet in the Amursky Bay, essentially an inlet off the Sea of Japan. They had a little beach area there and many people were sunbathing and playing in the water. It was cold, but not unbearable. We saw some other cool things at the waterfront, like a diving platform. You know the ones for the competitions where they have the concrete platforms at 5 and 10 meters (we think those are right). The platforms were right on the bay, which looks so scary! It’s one thing to plunge from the heights into a clean pool of water, but into a choppy sea!? Yikes. Anyhow, the waterfront area was really cool. We then had to walk up the hill (the hotels are on this steep hill rising above the bay) and we got some pictures with the tiger statue, evidently there to commemorate the hill, which is called Tiger Hill. Pics from our walk around Vlad are in the gallery. So we had had a most pleasant time and we returned to our room feeling encouraged and refreshed. Upon our return, we checked our e-mail, and this is when things got interesting…

Dr. S. had written again letting us know that he had finally had a chance to view the video (he had gotten technical help) and had some further comments and a concern. The concern involved something he observed on the video regarding her muscle tone and the CP. He asked us if we had observed the same thing he thinks he is seeing, and he went on to say that if we have (observed what he saw), this will alter her prognosis, I am afraid. “I am afraid” is the phrase he used, and we did NOT like the sound of that. I think Steve about started to hyperventilate, and I was just trying to pray and remember that God is good and He is in control, and He has a plan. This would alter her prognosis how!? We started scouring the internet to see what we could find. We found a little but nothing clear enough to really help us. In the end, we put together a second e-mail for Dr. S. detailing our observations as related to his concern and also providing more medical data we received that day on some of her other issues (which left us a tad concerned). We also uploaded another video in case it helped him to see more of her movements and motor skills.

We had to call our facilitator and tell her that we were dealing with questions from our Dr. and we were pulling back temporarily from our “yes” just until we can get his concerns addressed. She was very understanding and sympathetic to our situation. We e-mailed our parents for support, then we prayed hard and went to sleep. Despite the stress of it all, we actually slept okay. We had asked Dr. S. to please answer us by noon AZ time, so we’d get his response by 6 am in Vlad. That should give us enough time to contact our facilitator and either continue or alter our course. Thus ended what was largely both the best and the hardest day thus far.

 
 

Day 1: Meeting our referral – Sept. 4

Filed under: , , — jodi @ 3:34 pm

Our “referral” is a little girl named Anna. The couple of pictures we had seen of her were really cute (one in particular). But we were a little scared about the CP diagnosis on top of the deafness. Well, late on the night of the third we were provided with the official “medical conclusion” for her. Wow, it was scary. It had long lists of things she was diagnosed with at birth; more things she was diagnosed with later on, and a “current diagnoses” list that was frighteningly long. We spent some time researching as much of it as we could so we were prepared to ask questions about it when we met the orphanage head doctor.

Our schedule called for the driver to show up at the hotel at 8 AM. We thought this would feel early but since we were so jet lagged we ended up waking up at 5 am and not able to go back to sleep. So we got up and did what we needed to do to prepare to meet little Anna. Then we went to have breakfast with our new friends. That was actually quite enjoyable until we realized we’d talked too long and we had to run out without actually having eaten much of anything. Thankfully, we packed granola bars to eat on the road.

There were multiple stops along the way. First to meet Tanya to pick up a printed copy of the translated medical conclusion (thus far we only had an electronic version), then to buy some water. The orphanage was a 2 hour drive from the city, and we were beginning to see some of the obvious differences between here and Ukraine. First of all, it would appear that everyone has cars (the previously mentioned used Japanese cars). They have no emission rules here, and all the vehicles, especially the trucks that are hauling stuff everywhere, and buses and such, are always spewing horrible amounts of exhaust. Anyhow, I’ll skip the pollution treatise here, and just summarize by saying that as much as I love Russia, I’m really grateful for the cleaner air in the U.S. I know it’s not great all over, but ten minutes driving in Vlad and you’d be wishing you were in L.A. instead!

Ok, so back to business… we had a driver and an interpreter going with us to the orphanage. We drove the 2 hours to Ussurisk on crappy roads but we were feeling pretty good. Very much at peace, though aware that we were headed into something huge. When we arrived at the baby house, we were ushered into the head doctor’s office. She was very nice and very open about information regarding Anna. We got a rather thorough history both medically and regarding her family history. As we were still asking questions, Anna was brought in. She was so little and so cute, but at the same time we were pretty emotionally guarded throughout the visit. We were constantly watching her movements to see how the CP manifested itself. All in all, our first visit was good. Steve played with her and the nesting cups while I continued to take notes on the information we were being provided. Anna seemed quite happy with the attention. She definitely smiles a lot!

After awhile we went outside with her and pulled out a ball that she gladly played with, though she didn’t seem to get into chasing it around. Based on what we observed when the children are brought outside it is not to run and play on the playground equipment (of which there was very little), but rather to put them into small wooden pens where they can play with one another and select toys without wandering off. These wooden pens are about 10 feet by 10 feet, barely larger than a small room. So it’s no wonder Anna is so physically underdeveloped. It is definitely not just the CP, it is because she gets so little exercise and activity. It’s not that it’s a bad orphanage or that they don’t care for them, but it is a very small “campus” and it just doesn’t have good outdoor play equipment. Very unfortunate. We went into one of these pens to play with Anna because the asphalt was so rough and dirty (and the only other place to interact really). Here we pulled out the nesting cups again (Steve had played with these with her in the head doctor’s office) and she really liked them a lot. She would move them all around and appeared to be making sure each cup was placed on a flower petal or in the center of a flower. (The flowers were painted on the floorboards of the wooden pen.)

It wasn’t very long before it was time for us to go. I think our visit was about an hour and a half total, so not very long. We were mostly liking what we were seeing. Oh, the other thing we did at some point was pull out the one musical toy we brought to see if she responded at all to the sounds. And we clapped our hands and things like that to see if we could observe any reaction to sounds. Nothing. They had her hearing tested last December and it shows severe-profound in one ear and profound in the other. We actually wonder, though, if it is possibly profound in both now.

Anyhow, we then grabbed lunch at the grocery store deli (it is so funny to say that because it is so NOT what any American would imagine by using that phrase) to eat in the car because our interpreter and driver were needed for another family later in the afternoon.

Steve and I processed what we could from the trip on our way back to town. We were exhausted from being so focused. We were trying hard to capture video that we could show our doctor so he can do the appropriate evaluation of her and just generally observing and analyzing more than anything. It is important to us that we know what her issues are before committing. Her medical diagnoses were so many and some of them were rather scary.

Our ride with Vlad (Vladimir, Volodya, Vova – pick your name for him) ended at another hotel, the Vlad Motor Inn, where he and our interpreter, Elena, were needed by another family, who was preparing to meet a sibling pair. It was a family I had hoped and planned to meet while here, so it worked out nicely that we were able to be introduced. The Vlad Motor Inn is where most adoptive families stay when in Vlad. It is run by Canadians and is more western than it is Russian. The staff all speak English, and it also really caters to adoptive families. They have an indoor play area for the children as well as a recreation room for families to “hang out” in (with a pool table). They also have a playground outside, and the hotel is nestled in the woods so the surroundings are very peaceful and somewhat isolated. For our first trip, we really wanted a more Russian experience, so we’ll save the Vlad Motor Inn for trip #2.

So, we returned to our hotel in the city and spent the remainder of the day working on an uploadable video for our doctor to view as well as gathering all the various medical information together in an e-mail for him. We were feeling pretty overwhelmed by Anna’s needs and while we really liked her and thought we will probably say yes to her adoption, we felt her medical required some analysis by someone more qualified than us. We hoped he would offer her a positive prognosis even given her many diagnoses, and if he did, we were prepared to say yes.

We breaked for a bit to have dinner at the “Messroom”, which is the restaurant they have on the 4th floor of the hotel where we were staying. Our new friends Besty and Steve joined us and the four of us had a really nice time enjoying the food, stories about our adoptions, and much more. We laughed a lot, too, which is really important in the adoption process, which can be a lot of mental and emotional effort at times. Once done with dinner, we headed back and worked some more.  We have some stills from the Day 1 Visit, but they are mostly pulled from video, so they will look decent on a computer screen but are not high res. We finally got to sleep pretty late. Oh, I forgot to mention that at some point today they told us we could switch rooms to the bay-side of the hotel. We were very excited to do this, so we were also now enjoying our new room with a fabulous view of the bay. Watching the sunset over the water was breathtaking every time we saw it and we got some nice pictures. We also had a much nicer breeze on that side of the hotel, so that eased us a bit from the heat. We did eventually get our e-mail sent out though it was much later than we’d planned and finally we got some sleep.

It had been a long day, and we were glad it was finished. We hoped to get good news from the Dr. in the morning.

 
 

Skipping to the end 9/6/2007

Filed under: — jodi @ 2:41 am

Well, I wanted to post all the details and finish with our decision, but I’m running out of juice…not the computer, but me. Too tired. And we fly home tomorrow (though it takes 2 days).

We have decided to adopt Anna. It is an interesting story how it all happened, so come back and read the details when we’ve reached the other side of the Pacific again, but for now I didn’t want to be cruel and leave you all wondering for too long.

Anna is just beautiful. Here is a picture of her smile which is what captured us. There are more pictures at our new .mac gallery.

{Edited 9-25-07:  It has been brought to our attention that we are not supposed to post any pictures or video of our not yet adopted child.  I had to take down the picture here and all pictures and video on the gallery.  We can repost them all once the adoption is complete. Thank you for your understanding.}