Jodi Speaks Her Mind

A Different Kind of Pregnancy 6/3/2005

I have a special treat for you. Amy Abrahams is a fellow soon-to-be adoptive parent of a Ukrainian child or children. She and her husband just got their October NAC appointment date - yippee, congrats Amy! Anyhow, she wrote a wonderful little piece called A Different Kind of Pregnancy that I thought was very much worth sharing! I think her breakdown is very accurate in terms of equivalencies and feelings. I am in the third trimester and getting nervous, excited, and a bit uncomfortable!

Here it is in its entirety:

A Different Kind of Pregnancy STEP ONE: Deciding to get pregnant = Deciding to Adopt STEP TWO: Trying to conceive = Deciding to use an agency or adopt independently and which agency or facilitator to use??? (I think this is the worst part until we travel) STEP THREE: We’re pregnant = Finally made a decision and we are on the adoption journey road! STEP FOUR: First Trimester ~Apply for an application to adopt with USCIS (formerly INS) called an I600A form ~Get fingerprinted for USCIS ~Start your homestudy. A homestudy is basically an approval from social services that allows you to adopt. They ALSO have you get fingerprinted and collect all sorts of documents like medical examination reports from your doctor, tax returns, financial statements, employment verification letters, proof of medical insurance, birth certificates and marriage certificates. They also ask for four references letters to be written by non-family members. Then, they have a social worker come to your home 2-4 times for an inspection and private and joint interviews with the adoptive mother and father. A little nerve rattling. When this is completed and you are approved = Hearing the baby’s heartbeat STEP FIVE = Second Trimester ~This is where the real paper gathering begins. It is very similar to the Homestudy paperwork, but in more detail. Every document has to be notarized and have a special seal by the Secretary of State called an Apostille. You have to be very careful in all of your dates. NOTHING can expire until the process and travel has been complete, or they will kick the whole dossier (collection of documents) right back at you, even if you are in Ukraine in the process. No exceptions. You have to make sure you choose a notary, social worker, homestudy agency and doctor whose license or commission does not expire until well after you plan on being home with your child(ren). The documents that we had to collect are as follows: *Petition to Adopt *I171-H (this is what the I600A turns into after you are approved by INS) *Completed Original Homestudy *Copy of Homestudy License *Copy of Employment Letter for their Social Worker *Copy of Social Worker’s License *State Police Clearance Letter (3rd SET OF FINGERPRINTS!!!) *Medical Clearance from Doctor *Copy of Doctor’s License *Verification of Employment Letters *Marriage Certificates *Copy of Passports *Registration Obligation Letter *Power of Attorney When we have compiled all of our documents (dossier), we ship if off to Ukraine for translations = Feeling the baby kick!!!! STEP SIX = Third Trimester Wait Wait Wait for an Invitation to come to Ukraine and have an appointment with the NAC. The NAC is like Ukraine’s social services. They handle ALL of the international adoptions and you must step very carefully with them. STEP SIX = The Delivery We’ve got our date = The water broke Traveling to Ukraine = The mad dash to the hospital ~The In Country Experience~ ~During the meeting with the NAC we will be shown books or loose pages of pictures of children that are available for adoption. The pictures are typically old and have very limited medical/history information. Children have to be registered with the NAC for at least one year before they are available for adoption. Thus, the youngest child available for adoption would be 14 months with the oldest being 16 years old. ~ We choose one child or sibling group as a referral. We then go to that child(rens) region and visit them. We can talk to the Orphanage Director and have our own doctor examine the child if we like. If for a horribly, horribly sad reason (God please don’t let this happen!!!) we don’t feel this is the right child for our family, we go back to the NAC to start all over again. ~If not, we move forward and request a court date! This usually takes about two weeks for a court date. When we are in court, we request a mandatory 30 days wait period to be waived. If it is not, we are not able to take the child(ren) until 30 more days have expired. There are some regions that always seem to waive the 30 days and some that seem to never waive it. When court is over = the baby is out and you can hear him/her cry. Now there is a ton of paper gathering for the child for the embassy; visas, birth certificates, etc. that have to be obtained = Afterbirth ~ When this is complete we can come home! A few honorable mentions: Birthing coach = Stateside adoption helper/Agency My doctor = Facilitator (in country making everything happen person) Nurses = Facilitator’s Staff