Jodi Speaks Her Mind

Our Adoption - 8 weeks to go 5/31/2005

Week 42

Once again my update post is about 5 days late. I sort of tuned out for a few days and had something of a holiday.

Last week Steve had his repeat doctor appointment, blood draws, and more vaccination shots. We received the renewed agency license for our homestudy, which we will be getting an apostille for and sending off to Ukraine later this week.

I’ve switched gears with my reading and picked up The Post-Adoption Blues again. We purchased it back at the beginning of our process to adopt, and I even started reading it then. At the time, it seemed dry and rather unengaging. Now, with our impending trip so close, it has been an amazing book to read. It is describing so many of the feelings I have had and am having and explains how many of those feelings can lead to something of a let-down once you return home with your child. The timing of this read couldn’t be more perfect, as we want to be ready for whatever might be coming our way, even if it might be negative feelings, disappointment in our child or ourselves, disillusionment, and so on. I just marvel at how timing is such an important element in how we respond to things.

We still have quite a bit of shopping to do for our trip, but it will happen in due time. I did manage to at least figure out what I would wear to our appointment at the NAC and to court. It uses one item I already have plus one new purchase so far, and I may need to buy new shoes. But the decision having been made is a big one. The remainder of my wardrobe while I’m there is of little to no consequence. It will primarily just be comfortable and washable (by hand). I’m grateful we’ll be traveling in summer as it makes packing light a much more feasible endeavor.

Piestewa Family - Home Makeover 5/27/2005

For those of you who saw Sunday’s season finale of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, it was a special episode for us for a few reasons. First off, the company I work for, ISEC, Inc., was called upon to provide and install some equipment for the house, notably the flagpole and the playground equipment (never shown). This “connection” gave us the inside scoop, since I knew about the project prior to the family. However, the ISEC employees who were working on the project were not permitted to tell us who the family was until the day they were notified. Still, they already had in-hand the full blueprints for the house, landscaping, etc. The design for the house is not done on-site after the family is notified as they often imply on the show, while Constance draws frantically. If you caught the Monday night episode of How’d they do that? you may have noticed that the Shea Homes executives were introduced to the Piestewa family before they were sent off on their vacation. The builder is not located afterward like they implied in the original episode, as you see Ty running around yelling about needing to find a builder. I can testify to this fact since Shea Homes contacted ISEC about 2.5 weeks prior to the filming to invite our participation. It seems to me that the show used to be shrouded in secrecy, but as they’ve let their secrets out, they need to cease to “pretend” it is still some magical trick performed by Ty himself in the moments before the crews show up for demolition (or in this case, foundation laying). Ty is an actor, folks. A carpenter, a designer, and an actor. I’m pretty confident that he doesn’t secure building contractors!!

The other reason it was special is because we were there! Steve and I took a day-trip on day 5 of construction and had the opportunity to watch a lot of the exterior portions of the house being finished up. We caught the moment when Paul was on the roof checking out the new solar panels and Ty was at the windmill with Eduardo - on TV they were engaged in some sort of screaming match over which natural source of power was the best. They had actually hoisted the windmill (twice even) not long prior to that scene. Of course, Ty, Eduardo, and Paul all took some time to mingle with the crowds, and that was quite fun! Steve took a picture of me with Eduardo - he is so tall, handsome, and very genuine. We got a group picture taken with Paul (the 3 of us), and shook hands with Ty a couple of times. We saw Paige - complete with pink toolbelt, which really stood out in the brown landscape, and Michael who waved his arms excitedly to the crowds, but I guess was too busy to mingle at the time. All in all, it was just amazing to be there and to see it all in action. There truly is so much going on at any one time. Hopefully Steve will post the pictures so I can link to them. Oh, and it was indeed windy!!

By far the most amazing thing about being up there was the scenery. It was truly breathtakingly beautiful up there! The cameras just cannot do justice to it!! That family has views that most of us would pay a fortune just to enjoy for a weekend or a week. Though they paid dearly through the life - and death - of their daughter. It inspired us to make sure we get up that way a couple of times each year. While we find the desert beautiful and seldom tire of it, there is something compelling and awe-inspiring about the beauty of mountains. Our creator is so amazing!

We have also decided that sometime soon, if we can get ourselves up early enough to avoid the heat, we want to hike Piestewa peak to check out the sign they erected on top in her honor. It’s a tough but short climb, and the views of the valley are pretty amazing. I’m not sure if they said so on the show, but Piestewa peak is here in the Phoenix area - not in Flagstaff. We still marvel at how much we love this state! Arizona is such a great place to live.

Our Adoption - 9 Weeks to go 5/20/2005

Week 41

The week in summary:

• Redid my medical paperwork for the third time
• Got a revised Petition to Adopt apostilled by the Secretary of State
• Got another vaccination
• Booked our hotel stay for our layover in London
• Finished one book and started flipping through another
• Contacted a pediatrician who specializes in children adopted from other countries and was able to schedule an appointment for the end of September!
• we started plans for a special photo book to take with us for L.T.

Despite the above list, life was almost oddly normal this week. I know, I know, I should enjoy it while I have it blah blah blah. But the truth is, I was never one to get excited over “normal.”

Adoption Process - 10 Weeks to go 5/13/2005

Week 40

We now have ten weeks to count down to our departure, so I’m changing my blog titles to reflect a count-down towards travel and adoption rather than an upward count. Woohoo!!

I had my bloodwork drawn this week so I can get re-tested for my medical forms, which have to be redone because of the mere chance that the current ones might expire while we are in Ukraine. Sad, but true. Steve will also have to be re-tested and do a new medical form. Argh. We also have to get another certified copy of our marriage license for the same reason. That’s what happens when the whole process takes a full year. Still, we are hopeful, excited, and keeping busy with plans and preparations.

I have been watching selected epidoses of Adoption Stories on the Discovery Health Channel and the moment when the adoptive parents meet their child(ren) in person for the first time (or for the final time to adopt them) is so incredible! I keep thinking that soon we will be having that moment for ourselves, and the thought is overwhelming. Yep, I almost always cry. I can’t help it. If anyone wants to observe the beauty and wonder of adoption I highly recommend this series. Although you do have to tolerate the condescending sing-songy voice of the narrator. Other than that, it’s a very genuine look at the people who choose adoption and the process that each family goes through. And it really effectively shows how every adoption is truly unique!!

I’ve also made an observation about myself that seems rather odd and unexpected to me. I would have thought now that we have an actual date that I would finally want to hit the baby stores and all of that, but I actually have had no desire whatsoever to go to any of them. The reason for this is a mystery to me. Some of it I think has to do with finally accepting the reality that we truly don’t know what age child we will be bringing home. I mean he or she could be well beyond being a “baby” anymore, but I think it is more than that. But what? I know some of you will probably suspect that it has something to do with all the years of uncertainty with regard to our fertility, but I don’t think that is the root of it either. We actually hit the baby stores early on in the adoption process and had a ball with it at the time. We registered for all kinds of “baby stuff” and started to familiarize ourselves with all the accompanying necessities. Despite the difficulties of the past, I have not struggled with thoughts along the lines of “I won’t believe it until I see it” and the like. I have peace and a sense of assurance that we will in fact come home with a child. Anyhow, it is just weird. I would have thought I would finally feel free to peruse the baby store aisles, and I do feel free to do this, but I have no desire to whatsoever. What the heck is that all about!? Anyone????

Also, the topic of names has come up several times and is probably the most-often-asked question by others. Our standard answer is pretty much that we have a few names we like and may use, but we also want to honor our child’s given name if appropriate. Most likely we will incorporate his or her current first name into the new name either as a first or middle name. The other factor at play here is age because the older the child the more used to his name he will be and changing it could have a negative emotional impact. By the way, we are really interested in hearing name suggestions. We probably won’t comment on them simply because we don’t want to announce our favorites yet and we also wouldn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings if we don’t like a name they suggest, but offer the suggestions anyway, especially since we don’t have any Baby Names books to look through. Thanks!!

Adoption Process - Week 39 (Mother’s Day) 5/11/2005

I’m several days late with this post. So sorry to my faithful readers…

I think the obvious highlight of the week was Mother’s Day, which went over notably different than the previous 5 Mother’s Days. Mother’s Day while growing up is all about your own mother, and this is right and good. Mothers are special and wonderful and are to be celebrated!

However, when you start heading towards motherhood yourself, this special day takes on a new meaning. You long for the day that you will be the mother that is being cherished and celebrated. It started with a pregnancy loss in early 2000. From there I watched all the other young marrieds both family and friends alike around me become mothers while I continued to sit on the sidelines waiting, hoping, and hurting… a lot. Mother’s Day to women unable to conceive is a day of torment and dread, which drains so much already-depleted emotional energy from you that you feel you can barely stand or even breathe.

But… this year felt dramatically different. No, I am not a mother yet, but I am most assuredly an expectant mother, a mother-to-be, and enough people know that to make me feel pretty darn special about it. It is a unique stage in one’s life - waiting to be a mother for the first time - and I appreciated that many recognized this and celebrated it with me. I know that next Mother’s Day will be another unique and treasured day, but this Mother’s Day was special in its own right, and I am awed and grateful for the place God has brought us to.