Jodi Speaks Her Mind

Adoption Process - Week 7 9/25/2004

Aside from the Adoptive Parenting Seminar we attended last weekend, there isn’t a whole lot to report. We received some packages containing documents we’ll be signing later on as well as requests for more documents we need to send asap (tax forms, W-2’s, pay stubs, etc.). I’m working today on getting a lot of that together along with a nice color page of photos of us, cats, and house.

Steve already mentioned the downer of the week, and I responded with some details in the comments section.

Emotionally, I feel like I’ve hit a bit of a wall. Waiting is the thing I suck at worse than anything else. God keeps giving me opportunities to develop patience, but I just can’t seem to apply it when needed. We’ve made almost no progress on L.T.’s room, and the whole adoption thing just isn’t feeling much like reality to me right now. Granted, this was a wicked week at work as we had a 2-day conference that I was responsible for planning and executing for 180 people (on top of all my normal responsibilities). No small endeavor, so my present fatigue is - I suppose - justified.

So I’ll stand up, wipe the sleep from my eyes, and start moving forward again.

Adoption Process - Week 6 9/17/2004

This week was a totally hectic week for both Steve and I at work, so I guess it was a blessing that we didn’t have a whole lot happening on the adoption front. We did have a scheduled appointment on Thursday for our USCIS (formerly INS) fingerprinting, which I managed to keep, but Steve already had a dentist appointment scheduled for the same day, so he’ll be going next week (most likely). It was actually kind of cool. Our first round of fingerprints were done in week one for the state level criminal clearance and they used the traditional fingerprint cards that make a mess. The USCIS uses a biometric system (costing us $70/each) but it was really cool. They scan the fingerprints digitally and they can redo each one as many times as is necessary to make sure they get a really clear print. No mess, no fuss. I also appreciated the efficiency of their operation. I was in and out in less than a half hour.

I spent some time earlier in the week researching some of the possible medical conditions that children coming out of Eastern European orphanages might be dealing with. All in all, I feel a little less scared now that I’m more familiar with some of them. I still need to read up, though, as some of them I’d never even heard of (or had heard of them but didn’t know what they involved.)

Tomorrow we are spending 7 hours at an Adoptive Parenting Seminar being sponsored by our AZ-based adoption agency. Hopefully that will give us additional knowledge to better prepare us for the process and for L.T.

I should mention that my parents came back through and passed along congratulations and enthusiastic support from a large contingent of our extended family. We are so blessed to be surrounded by so many people (even if they are not physically near us) who care about us and rejoice with us over our impending parenthood. Thanks to everyone who sent their joy and support to us!

We received an acknowledgement letter from our County Court office informing us that they received our Application for Certification to Adopt and we have now been assigned an AC number. It was a pretty boring letter, but I guess it is an important part of the paperwork process for our Homestudy. Rather, the entire point of a Homestudy is to get a Certification of Adoption from the Judge, and the Homestudy is the “report card” that leads to the desired “diploma”.

Steve is out in the garage now working on the dresser we’re going to refinish for L.T.’s room. I’ll go remind him to take some “before” pictures now, so you can all appreciate what it took to get to the end result.

More soon…

Adoption Process - Week 5 9/12/2004

Steve had his doctor’s appointment this week, which went very well. We managed to get all the right forms filled out and notarized.

We also had our first home visit by the social worker. This went very well, though it was different than either of us expected. I think I expected it to be something of an ‘inspection’ along with interviews to verify our finances, history, etc. Instead it was more of a “get to know you” session that involved questions of a more personal nature. Many of them were focused on our perceptions and attitudes towards one another and how we perceive the other as a future parent. All in all, it wasn’t bad and Tina is very nice. She didn’t even walk through the house. As for timeframes, it looks like our home study is going to be completed in a 60-80-days time frame, which is very good!

We spent some time this weekend talking more extensively about L.T.’s room and how we want to arrange and decorate it. (L.T. is our nickname for our son-to-be and is short for “little toddler” or “little tyke”.) We found a used, solid-wood dresser that Steve is going to clean up, sand down, and then repaint in colors that have not yet been determined. We also hope to find innovative drawer pulls like small, colorful blocks or something else, we’re not yet sure what. (Ideas are welcome, of course!)

We also continue to plug along in our book on Toddler Adoption. We are currently reading about physical, cognitive, and socio-emotional developmental tasks appropriate to the toddler age and how adopted toddlers, especially those who have been neglected or institutionalized, will be delayed in many or all of these areas. Attachment issues are a big area of discussion and there is a future chapter dedicated exclusively to this topic.

On a personal note, Steve and I are growing in our anticipation of the adoption of our boy, and we have spent hours talking about how our lives will be changing, how we plan to adapt to these changes, and the traditions and experiences we hope to establish in our home and family, and so on. In general we are just excited and a tad impatient to reach the point where we can actually bring our L.T. home and become the family that we know in our hearts we are meant to be.

I wish that I had some type of a countdown system with a target date like most pregnant women have, but since we don’t know when we’ll be going, we just keep working, waiting, praying, hoping, and trusting that it will all happen at the time that God has ordained.

L.T. we love you and can’t wait to bring you home!!

Revenge of the Squirrel Lady 9/9/2004

If you have seen the movie Rat Race then you know about the deceptively sweet but actually evil Squirrel Lady played by Kathy Bates. If passers-by didn’t buy a sweet, cuddly (disease-ridden) squirrel from her, she would offer them directions for a “short-cut” that took them down a treacherous canyon to their likely deaths. It seems we met a distant relative of hers who works in Sedona as a Forest Service Guide. She offered us directions to take an “easier, more pleasant” hiking trail that turned out to be much longer and more grueling than implied. What could she have possibly had against us?! I just can’t help but presume that someone steered her wrong at some point in life and she enjoyed passing along the experience. Guess we should’ve bought a squirrel!

Steve has posted pictures of our hike over here.

Adoption Process - Week 4 9/4/2004

This week was definitely less crazy than previous weeks. I had my Dr. appointment, at which upon completion my Dr. had to sign 2 separate medical forms, provide a copy of her medical license, and all 3 of the above had to be notarized. She thought it was all pretty ridiculous but agreed to cooperate. I thanked her profusely for being willing to “dance on cue” and also thanked my co-worker/notary who came along and waited a long time while the doctor seemingly forgot that I existed. While at the Dr.’s, I also got some vaccinations that were recommended.

This week we also got Steve’s employer statement reissued and notarized for the 4th time. Previous versions had a variety of problems including a notary stamp from a notary whose commission expires before the adoption will be finalized. No problem in the U.S. but Ukraine will not accept this. Another one had a very minor clerical error that called for white-out. We asked if this was okay and got a firm, “No.” Attempt number three had a date written incorrectly (all dates must match exactly), so this was attempt number four, and I’m pleased to announce that it appears to have been a success! Thankfully, both Steve’s employer and our notary were real champs to be willing to repeat this procedure so many times.

We received information that the various government agencies requiring our Arizona criminal clearances are going to cooperate with one another in order to produce results in the proper formats for both the Ukraine portion and for the Arizona portion. This is definitely good news.

Other than that, we have continued reading our Toddler Adoption book and preparing ourselves emotionally for this huge change our lives will soon take. I started a new category on my blog called I’m going to be a parent?!? to chronicle the more parenting-related experiences of our journey, such as my first freak-out.